14 Aug 5 Mindset Shifts to Gain Unstoppable Confidence
This past week has been a wonderful period of manifesting for me, even though when I look back I have had times when it has been so hard I have to convince myself to continue. When I first set out on my new business journey there were days that everything fell into place, and then there were days where it felt like everything was stuck, and going nowhere.
The one thing that changed it all for me was when I started to believe in myself, and not let the fear associated with that take over.
Something that I did was to identify exactly what my fear was.
I had consumed myself with a fear that I would possibly fail. I would set out, tell everyone I was doing my new business, start, try, and it would go nowhere, and I would have to admit to having failed. But when I dug deeper, and really striped out everything to find my real fear, it was actually all around being successful. I was terrified that if I was successful I would have to leave my good paying day job, and truly and utterly support myself. There was no safety net in that, and what if it didn’t all fall into place the way my perfectly planned plan was set out to do.
If you are feeling similar, not necessarily about the fear of success, but if you can work out a real fear that you have … here is an exercise for you to try which will help you move past the fear you identify that is blocking you from driving yourself forward into the best leading business women you can be.
Think about what exactly it is you want to achieve. What does this achievement really look like? Get specific, get into the details, really visualize what it is you want or where you want to be one day. And yes, there will be good, bad and ugly in this picture.
I know that might strange, but I really want you to think about your goals, and the scenario(s) that you can imagine yourself manifesting that goal.
So for my goal, I wanted to have my own coaching business, where I am referred to as a phenomenal coach that has helped many women to become the confident fearless leaders that you are meant to be, whether that is in their own business, or the corporate world. With this goes a lifestyle that I enjoy, where money is not a worry, where I can dress in a way that makes me feel all shiny and sparkles on the inside, and where I can travel the world in luxurious style plunging myself into the culture of Europe that I am so passionate about (yes there are days I think I should’ve been born in France or Italy!).
But when I got very specific on this desire I realized that there was a huge fear that came along with that – and that was that I would have to do this alone, all me, no monthly salary from someone else, all me … and that meant that I would have to be the one responsible for all the work, and bringing in all the business, and then to be responsible for a few people who would need to work for me in order to make this what I wanted it to be.
Can you see how your desires are so often laced with hidden fears that are actually more terrifying than the beauty of what the desire would be. This is why it is so important to unpack, and strip down all your fears, because only once you have done this will you be able to work through the fear so that it does not self-sabotage you and your dreams.
Think about what hidden fears are living down there in amongst your desires.
Here are a few fears I have seen in some of my Clients that we have managed to work through together:
- Fear of being judged by others for what you think versus what they think
- Fear of not being liked because of a decision you have had to make that someone doesn’t think was the right decision
- Fear of being criticized because your opinion is ‘different’ to theirs so they make you feel inadequate
- Fear of making the wrong decision, in a person, or in an investment that can affect someone else, and the business, and you
- Fear of not looking like the rock star you have always been because the economy took a dip and it has affected your deliverables
- Fear of standing up for yourself because you may get squashed by your superior and then life could become difficult with them from there onwards
Do any of those feel close to what you fear when you think about what you need to do to achieve your goals?
Then the next thing to do is:
In order to achieve your goals, you need to do one of 2 things:
- Dismiss that fear as completely irrational OR
- Learn to accept the fears as consequences of you striving for a big vision – and by consequences it does not mean that we cannot shift you to not fear as much, but by accepting them makes working with them so much easier
Start with writing down all your fears and seeing which of the above 2 they fall into.
Many of our fears when you say them out loud are irrational, and you will know deep down that they are just silly little over reacting imagination spurts. But others are not, they are real and these are the ones we need to accept, work with and move through.
When we learn to accept the good, the bad and the ugly as one whole package, we can truly begin to manifest our desires and goals without resistance. You set the frequency dial on the level that will match your intentions and that is when everything in your life will begin to flow, and that is when you will begin to grow your confidence in who you are and what you want, and it will be very hard for anything or anyone to wobble you off course.
If you have got this far, I would love to invite you to learn more about building your self-confidence in my upcoming Live Masterclass where I will be sharing my 5 shifts that help me to build my self-confidence so that I could become the confident fearless leader I am today.
Sign up to my Live Masterclass here