25 Jul A reason, a season, a life time … so they say …
The saying goes … that people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. And I find that I am so often reminded of this, not just in my own life, but in stories I hear from others.
And whenever I am listening to the story, and mulling it all over, it almost immediately pops in to my mind ~ a reason, a season, a lifetime. But when you say this to someone, or even to yourself, maybe more so to yourself … it almost follows with a sad face, or where you find yourself thinking inwards and making that realisation, as if you know … but you didn’t want to know.
Because when stories are told that require this saying, it is never in mention to someone who will be in your life for a lifetime …
Why do people come and go?
Over my years of growing up (and I still think of myself as growing up, at 44 years old) I have come to realise that “a-reason-a-season-a-lifetime” is a fact of life, it is something that has happened to me many times, and will probably happen again, and again, and again.
What I have learnt is how this is all actually meant to happen.
Some people are here to teach us something, there is a very specific reason they pop in to our lives. It might be to show us that we can stand up for ourselves and we are worth more than this. When you are faced with someone who does something that really doesn’t fit well with us as a human, and we don’t like it … because they make us feel sh*t about ourselves. We have to stand up tall and straight and proud and say: “I am worth more than that, so cheerio, I will see you around, never!”.
If they hadn’t come along, and made us feel crap we wouldn’t have gone: hold on … I am good enough.
So when these people leave, remember that this is a good thing … they were here for the reason, and we got it – now we move on to the next lesson, which will invariably be taught by someone else. Wave them goodbye, freely.
Some people are here to make sure we work through a deep routed behaviour, there is that characteristic we have that needs to be refined, and it will probably take you longer than a summer, spring, autumn or winter to get it worked out for yourself, they are here for that season. For me this was something that I spent a long time working on, something about me that people complain about, not to me, but about me. The quality they refer to me having is maybe not something I am overly proud of, but (when people comment on it) I am very aware that the context behind it is almost never considered. This gives me some comfort, which I would only know … but what I am still left with is feeling slightly bad about how I react, sometimes. What has happened is that someone is around at the moment who keeps bringing this lovely quality to the fore, and each time I know that they are hear for the season I need to work through “refining” how I react – but, and I must add this but, I will not change who I am, simply refine me… for a feeling I do not want to feel. So when they appear, and speak of this quality, I listen, absorb, and smile, because I know it is for a very good reason for my season, and soon the season will change …
And then there are the special people who are here for a life time … and funny how there is never a story to be told about these people. And you know why, because they are the specials one’s meant for us, meant for our lives … forever.
How to approach people coming and going in life
So how I like to approach this in my life is to know that there are people for a reason a season a lifetime, and when I meet someone new, or I connect with a new human, or a new little journey begins within me, I very much remember “a reason a season a lifetime”.
People who know me will have heard me say this, often.
And I say it to myself as well.
Now please don’t think this was super easy for me, it wasn’t … you do remember that I have been around for 44 years now, and I probably only really got this, totally and completely about a year ago.
Somehow it clicked for me. I accepted it, and live it to the core of my life, so that when someone moves on, I am not left standing alone, staring in the direction that they left in, wondering what I did that made them leave.
I watch them go and wave, with a beautiful smile that starts way down deep inside of me, because what it really means is that I have grown, I have learnt the lesson, I have refined the behaviour, I have stood up for me, I have believed in me … and that is incredible.
I watch them go and wave, with a beautiful smile that starts way down deep inside of me
If this touched you, and made a little bit of sense, I urge you to share with you friends.
Lots of love