22 May Why am I not good enough for me, for you, for anyone?
Why do so many of us think we are not good enough?
Not good enough for our parents, for our partners, for our friends, for our colleagues … for anyone?
Where did this come from, and how did it get so much power that now it is almost the most over-powering feeling we feel as soon as we need to speak up … or stand out …
HOW DO WE TAKE BACK THE POWER?
I am not sure about you, but I literally have a running commentary going on in my head, almost all the time. Sometimes the voices just talk to me about what has just happened, and we go over and over the facts ~ what I should‘ve said, or could’ve done differently. But invariably all the chatter is negative or questioning me in some way.
Since I can remember I have always felt like I wasn’t good enough … I have always been trying to prove myself to people … and over the years I have come to realise that all I am actually trying to do is to prove my worth to myself.
Something will happen at work, and the outcome is not exactly what me or someone had anticipated or asked for. I immediately start to defend myself, in my head. I play it over and over, and tell myself why I did the right thing, or what I did was right, or what I did was all I could’ve done. Then my voice start with ‘they going to question you and your ability Joy’ and ‘they going to think you the wrong person for the job’ and and and … I am pretty sure you all get the gist, and you probably nodding your head because something similar happens to you.
My voice has so much power over me, because once that voice starts to question me, and doubt what I have done it almost feels like everything that happens next is because of that.
Does that ever happen to you?
Someone will come and talk to me about something else, not related at all, and they may have a slightly different tone of voice with me, and I immediately think ‘you see, they doubting you, they said it like that because of what happened just now’ and the rollercoaster begins, and it goes and goes and you just cannot get off …
The voice has all the power … but why? And how did it get so strong … ?
The only way to get off the rollercoaster, and the only way to shift your mindset is to start to believe in yourself, and start to do some work on yourself.
Can you do this?
Can you put yourself front and centre?
IT IS AS EASY AS STARTING A NEW CONVERSATION WITH YOURSELF EVERY DAY
And we call it affirmations.
We have all heard of them before, right? If you want to change the sentiment of the voice in your head, you just have to change the words you use when talking to yourself.
Every morning when you wake up, you need to talk differently to yourself, and here’s how:
Tell yourself how good you are, and how much you love you
- I have put a few of mine below for you …
Be specific in what you say about certain aspects that you really battle with
- I am going to get fit, by going to the gym 3 times a week
You have to believe it to your core … feel it deep down and mean it when you say it
- You cannot just regurgitate the words off a piece of paper, that will not work
Say each one out loud, to yourself, even sing it to yourself if that works for you
- I love doing this because it helps me to put some emotion behind it, sometimes I even punch the air (haha, don’t laugh!)
And watch the spring in your step getting bigger and bigger every day you do them
- Because it will start to make a serious change in you … keep at it for at least 2 months, because that is how long a habit takes to make part of your daily life without you even having to think about it
TAKE YOUR POWER BACK & SAY WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR OTHERS SAY ABOUT YOU
I would love to know one of your new affirmations that you will begin to say to yourself each day, leave it in the comments below.
And if you feel like you need some advice on how to really get this going, there are a number of books you can read on affirmations, but why not start with this one, The Secret … it not only goes through affirmations so nicely and simply, but also vision boards … which I just love too!
I am good enough
I believe in me, and all of me
I am loved
I am wanted
I am safe in who I am
I am good at what I do
I am wealthy in abundance
I am enough
I love who I am
I am proud of who I am
I love my life
Follow me on Instagram to see them all in colour …