06 Dec Happy balancing spiders xoxo
I am absolutely petrified of spiders, and I was even more scared when I was younger … I am better now, if you can believe that 🙂
I used to be so scared that if there was one in a room that I was in, I would literally freeze, and scream for someone to come and rescue me … which meant they had to kill it.
As I have got older, I started to feel terrible at the thought of killing a spider, so now if someone cannot come and rescue me, or remove it, I run, so fast and avoid that area or room for as long as possible.
Along with that, Andy thinks I am completely nuts and just rolls his eyes at me when I scream, so I have almost had to get brave about it because he often will just not come to help me.
We moved in to our new house just over a year now, and if I tell you we have had tons of spiders in the house you will probably think I am over exaggerating, but I promise you (pinky swear promise) that I am not.
Thankfully not just big one’s, lots of small ones, and medium sized ones. A few big one’s, and one I even touched because I didn’t know it was there until I touched it and realised (yes!!!!).
Then in May this year, I launched Organized Joy, and I was coaching, and I had my day job, and I was completely and utterly burning the candle on both ends.
And still lots of spiders came to visit … actually more than before…
And then one morning, very early, when I came back from the gym … there was a little spider sitting on my kettle handle, where I had to hold to fill up, and now I couldn’t because he was there …
I found myself staring at this little spider, and wondering to myself, but kind of asking him “why are you here, and why are there so many of you in my house, and in my space, and showing up, just walking around, around me, all the time?”
To me, spiders are pretty good at balancing … on their webs. They are flippin big, and heavy, compared to that thin, fine and beautifully made web. And they live there, sleep there, kill there, eat there, pretty much everything there, other than when they hop off to come and find me, to traumatise me.
And when they are off their webs, I guess they are no longer balancing …
It suddenly struck me that I wasn’t balancing my life, I was so stretched and exhausted, and running around trying to do way too much. And maybe these little spiders where visiting to try and tell me that. And because I just ran away, they had to send more for me to get the message.
I did a real and massive “stop and breathe and re evaluate” in terms of what was going on with me, and in my life.
I had (at that time) no balance in my life whatsoever … I was just working, on a lot, and doing so many different things, and too many things … and to be honest it wasn’t making me happy, it was making me tired and grumpy.
Over the next little while, I made quite a few changes, which have been really good for me, and you know what … I no longer have any visitors in my house. Serious!!!!
Until Monday … one was on the curtain in the dinning room as I went to open it … again, not in his web, not balancing … and I knew then that I needed a reminder, and I took it on board and had a good breath again.
It was all I needed, a reminder! I wasn’t in the state I was in before, but I was starting to over promise to myself again …
So, I am in no way saying that I am over my fear of spiders … no ways … but now I know why they come to visit me. You may think this is all hocus pocus, but it is my reason, and I like it, and I believe it!!!!
Balance is so important to life, and it is very good to remind ourselves of this when we feeling traumed, or rushed, or overwhelmed … balance balance balance!
A good place to start is to literally take a breath … sit wherever you are, close your eyes (don’t care about what people around you think, this is for you to regroup) and breath … just focus on your breathing, for 3 minutes even, longer is better, but start somewhere.
And next is to find some time to evaluate what you doing, what you should be doing, what you want to be doing … and decide a way forward.
Find your balance … for you.
It really is awesome when you do x