18 Jul Happy self doubting Tuesday
I had a session this morning that created a situation for me where I swung, and I should say that it happened with momentous force, into a place of serious self doubt, but thankfully within about 10 minutes I was able to resuscitate 🙂 myself and face the situation, ask a few a questions and pull myself towards myself.
But let me tell you, it was no mean feat!
Since I started my coaching business, I have acquired a few Clients, but to date I haven’t actually “lost” one. One Client was sent to me by someone else for 4 sessions, and when those were done, we were done … but we knew that upfront.
With all my regular Clients I haven’t had one say “its been real, but cheers” – haha, that sounds kind of harsh, and it wasn’t like that, but when it happened it felt a little bit like that. And I guess that is why I felt myself spiraling in to the pit of self doubt.
Self doubt is such an ‘out-of-your-control’ thing, isn’t it. Something happens, that you really don’t expect, it almost comes out of nowhere, and smacks you, in the face, pow, just like that!
That ‘something’ that happens can be something someone says, or something someone does, and it directly involves you. You automatically think bad things about yourself, and you start the spiral … and before you know it, you can often be in the pit of the pit …
This morning I began to spiral and so much was going through my head, and then I stopped. Just like that I (thankfully) found myself go: wait, ask if this decision is because they no longer see the benefit, or they feel like they not getting anything more out of the sessions we have. These two questions were the key to understanding whether I should doubt what I do … the answer was absolutely no, they felt like I had prepared them and worked through a lot of the ground work they needed (and why they had actually come to me), and now they needed some time to work with that, and for themselves. Which is pretty great really.
I had done the job I was asked to do = no self doubt required.
I was lucky today, to have somehow found the strength to say WAIT!
It doesn’t always happen, well not to me.
But today it did, and I think a part of the reason is when all this stuff start flying through my head, I remember thinking that this was crazy, stop thinking like this, trust yourself Joy, and be confident to ask the questions to help you, even if the answer was going to be bad, the answer I possibly didn’t wan to hear would surely help me going forward with my coaching in general.
So it all comes back (again) to being confident is ourselves.
We all know what we good at, and why we do what we do …
We need to trust that, in good and bad. we will grow, and develop into an even better version of ourselves … but we have to start with trusting ourselves. No one else will, only you … you have to believe in you, you have to love you, and you have to stand up for you!
As I say, your attitude will determine your direction … but you decide that, for yourself.
So today, define your attitude, and make sure it is one that sets you in the direction you want to go.
Lots of love